| cantheseafindme? |
[13 Jan 2007|04:38am] |
and... sometimes i wonder what the ocean is up to.
it is sometimes nice to look back at the sea, and know that you have grown forem being with it.
the tide could honestly sing songs of freedom and hope.
but if she could have seen what i have become out of what i had been, the current would mass a diffrent way.
so if the compass reads the same as my map.
pick up on that mast, and prove to the sea, you are more than you are worth.
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| December Thirty-first, Nine-Sixteen p.m. |
[31 Dec 2006|09:15pm] |
here it begins,
the first day of my new life.
i see the cherry blossoms, blooming.
trivial and tough as this last chapter was, i have grown immensely from it.
and i am thankful for everything that has happend, and what will happen.
i am beginning the new year on a fresh slate.
a new stone, with a toothpick for a pen.
im probably gonna be here for a while.
new people, new faces, new beginnings, new days, and new experiences.
for the first time in my life, i truly feel self-confidant.
seeing myself react to the situations i have been in now, it is amazing.
i have the best friends in the world.
slash money, j-giddy, dandy randy, l.p., j-dub, bg-1, and so many more.
i wish i could accurately document how amazing i feel every day, how comfortable i am to know nothing at all.
ignorance is bliss.
this is fact.
im living proof.
so here is to the next year.
the next chapter in my memoirs.
here is to the beating clock inside us all.
and here is to the words in which i am flattered to share.
"I'M Eager to Learn, Are you Eager to Teach?"
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| you didnt know me, cause i didnt even know myself. |
[28 Nov 2006|02:35pm] |
yessir, this next month may hold a few changes.
i am indeed biding my time.
my life has never been better.
never been more difficult,
and never been more fulfilling.
im making alot of realizations.
and to think it has only been three months.
bring the rain.
bring it all.
im more positive than ever, and im perfectly fine alone.
if not better off.
besides it only takes one person to ride a bike.
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[26 Oct 2006|12:32am] |
Heres to you sailor, you fare across the sea.
From greenery and trees, to a new place.
And, here is to the new day, where time most often stays.
where you wish you would have left, but the riptide remained
Turn to face the ocean, hold your breath and breathe.
walk against the tide, and be now at ease.
the undertow will pull, and then start to sway,
pulling you so hard, you turn away.
PLease sir set your sail, you will yet still avail.
and prove to the sea, you are not as lonely,
as she believes. as she believes.
So, heres to you sailor, you fare across the sea.
through ship, shore, and beach, you are finally free.
Waste not another day, on storms from the past,
welcome the memories, and face the new facts.
of life in the present, and living to your dreams.
the sea has brough you here, so give your thanks.
yet, the sea has also lied, oceans full of hurt,
the weather changes quickly, please do be alert.
work in progress.
sounds better on a typewritter.
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[23 Oct 2006|09:43am] |
nine days this week. in a row.
my last day off was wednesday, my next day off is this coming sunday.
42 hours and 56 minutes last week.
almost three hours overtime.
next paycheck is gonna be bomb.
i need a backrub.
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[06 Oct 2006|05:04pm] |
888 O'Farrell Apt. # 227 San Francisco, CA 94109
home.
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[29 Sep 2006|06:15pm] |
there are things on the tip of my tounge that arent on the top of my head
and curioity is totally killing me.
back to being vauge i guess?
am i trying to say something without saying something?
if my mind runs around in any more circles.
i might trip the sucker.
just all of a sudden little visions have popped back.
is if from when i stopped and stared the ocean down?
is this the reprise?
word for word, and letter for letter.
the more that i write, it wont make it better.
something i should let go, unleash, and free
the thought of something that was, that i will never see
how was that for a poem.
on the upside of the egg
i now have a place to lay my head.
hopefully without the bites and nibbles of bedbugs.
shits weak
what do you call the action of fighting against the tide.
because, without that answer, how can one help but to fall for the ocean?
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[28 Sep 2006|02:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lethargic, confused, annoyed. |
] |
and sometimes when youre on, youre really fucking on.
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[24 Sep 2006|06:51pm] |
every now and then i get an astringent feeling that i want to talk to someone.
i know who that someone is, but due to recent past events.
and the hindsight of things, ther eis a lingering feeling that it would not be a good idea.
not neccessarily a conversation like in the past but kinda just a quick chat.
but knowing myself and ow i can be overlydramatic, and snide at the drop of a pin.
i dont know if old topics would not be brought up or if they would be.
from a safe perspective it would probably be best to not chance it.
but i guess it is just the curiosity that is killing me.
iono.
time to go ride.
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[22 Sep 2006|11:34pm] |
biking up grant street from kearny... is one hell of a hike.
so i was thinking today. well earlier this evening.
and i really cherish those who i can really connect with.
such as to say, when i found out jeremy's car broke down, my first instinct was to call and see if he was ok.
or how like i spent forty-five minutes on the phone with carrie talking about what would happen if zombies invaded the earth.
or calling randy and seeing what his plans are for the night.
and that gets me to thinking.
i am doing great.
granted, things arent that easy.
but i am definately managing.
i feel like i have my best foot forward,
and i am making the best of every breath of air i take.
i used to think that my life was everything around me.
my friends, my family.
but now it seems more like i am living for myself.
i love you all, but it comes down to me in the end.
i go to sleep and all i need to make sure of is if i have money for move in costs, and if i ate that day.
this is a totally diffrent kind of happiness.
something i have yet to experience.
cause i have felt depression.
i have felt homesick.
i have felt love, or what i thought was love.
i have felt lost,
and i certainly have thought i was happy before.
but it is more like a state of peace.
the only obligations i have are to myself.
if someone calls, not to sound fucked up, but i dont have to answer.
the world wont end.
if someone thinks of me as a horrid person, well let them.
that is thier adgenda.
and really if a bad person i am being... maybe it is about time?
but just for the record, i do think about everything alot.
friends, family.
how i miss them.
how i miss my grandma.
but i also think about all the sadness that has been caused my my dependency on others.
i got so wrapped into my comfort zone that i didnt know anything other than that.
and it took a bad situation for me to realize what i had to do.
and that bad situation is still going to bite me in the ass.
but now i feel as though i can stand up to it.
and properly deal with it.
and it was another situation that made me realize that lodi wasnt for me.
and that my potential would not be tapped into.
and no matter what i do owe that person a thanks.
because i would be worse off without that experience.
and i am pretty sure she knows who she is.
so i suppose i am posting this as public, as to try and start new.
instead of making a new journal.
or not writing in it at all, im going to start fresh.
and this is my statement.
my name is Pio John Francis Valensin
and i reside in San Francisco
where i go next i have yet to decide.
but i have the world at my fingertips.
because all it really boils down to is weather you can live with yourself in the morning.
and now i feel as though i can.
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[08 Jan 2005|01:51am] |
thanks to some fuckheads who go to shows to pick fights,
shows at the eagles lodge are postponed,
they couldnt even wait till after the show.
thank so much you fucking ignorant pricks.
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[08 Dec 2004|02:31am] |
ok, so there is a first time for everything.
and today...
for the first time ever in my eighteen and a half years of life,
my father apologized to me.
i am still kinda wierded out.
and i am freaking out,.
i hate when i hear people talking about certain happy moments.
it really makes me sad.
it reminds me of the perfect moments i had with a certain girl.
who ended up forsaking my heart.
no matter how much i try to avoid it,
it still hurts.
i am beating myself into a pulp.
nothing i can do can fix anything.
i cant hate her.
i cant be friends with her.
i try to talk to her and she ignores me, or wont even try to carry conversation,
i fucking hurt
it is like poking your finger, everyday for three minutes non stop.
the pain just kinda turns into a dull ache.
that is my heart.
even when i try my hardest, to think positive,
everything falls apart on me.
what do i do.
i want a fucking answer.
i am sick of it.
the one person that i hand my heart to on a silver platter.
that i would promise the moon, and even attempt to give it to her,
the only girl i let my guard down for,
the one person.
and i die inside,
maybe i am just hurt because more shit happend.
my grandmother is in the hospital again today.
what do i do?
i dont know what to think right now.
if i could cry. i would,
i want someone to hold me.
and that one person deserted me.
maybe i am alone in this world.
fuck this.
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| stupid mother fucker. |
[08 Nov 2004|10:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Explosions in the Sky - "Have You Been Through This Night?" |
] |
now i have been called a liar.
a loser.
a fuck up.
a pothead.
just like my friends.
all the friends that my father has not met.
i love the fact that Tim, who is about to graduate from sac state is a loser.
or that greg, who is currently in delta and working simultaniously is a loser.
or that lindsey. who is going to delta, and being a full time sweetheart is a fuck up.
nathaniel, who is going to cosmotology school, is really not going anywhere.
i love it.
and how i was supposedly "caught" smoking weed.
i dont understand how this is possible.
especially when, well. heh. yeah that is pretty much physically impossible.
to see someone doing something when they didnt do it for a fact.
now.
my plans for brooks. are a no go.
he is sending me to a JC.
the dorms. oh god.
only
not Delta. (which is one of the highest ranked JC's in north america so i am informed)
because he doesnt like the kids who wear earrings that go to delta.
this is making so much sence now.
so lets recap.
i am a loser/liar/pothead.
so are my friends.
even the ones that are going places.
i am not a physical impossibility.
due to the fact that i was caught doing something that i didnt do.
and a better school is now inferior, simply beacause kids that have earrings go to it.
oh wait.
they go to every school.
even grammar school.
im lucky im not ten anymore.
or i might have been put in homeschool.
because those kids that have earrings,
you better watch out.
thye will get you.
this by the way, is an ode to my father.
ignorance is bliss.
so. with that i say adieu.
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[19 Jun 2004|03:34am] |
ther is a chance that i might be even more homeless than i am now.
might be getting kicked from the hotel
peachy
fuck manual the fucking prick who cant pay a fucking bill
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[16 Jun 2004|06:31pm] |
| How to make a setbesideawall |
Ingredients:
1 part intelligence
1 part ambition
1 part energy |
Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Serve with a slice of caring and a pinch of salt. Yum! |
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[13 Jun 2004|04:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 calm |
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| [ |
music |
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hothotheat.....yeah i know STFU |
] |
it never ceases to amaze me.
i have pictures of the past couple of weeks.
im not gonna post them.
if you wish to see them, then message me.
word.
ps. why cant i read into her, i dont get it.
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[08 Jun 2004|10:21am] |
yeah so i got a haircut.
faux hawk is back. unintentionally
it is cool though
im cool like Mike Nordeen now.
<3
pictures to come.
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